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♥You said it's dangerous to be so intimate

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[28 Aug 2006|06:13pm]
Today is my last night here. it kinda sucks in a way because then i wont have a computer to be on. but hopefully withiin a couple of months i will have a laptop. we shall see how it goes.  anyways the only story that i really have is this kid jon that i partied with a realy long time ago told me he liked me. and why. the reasons are pretty kickass. hes okay. i like him. but right now im doing okay on my own.
next. this week i think im taking myself by bus to get a job. and in the next ocuple of weeks cadi starts working. this is going to be great. the money we both will make will help out alot. really for me since i need to save for school in january if i make it there and i need a laptop. plus i want to get a new camera but the one i like is 800$ think i can do it guys? i hope so.i would love to be a photographer. pretty sweet. so if anyone has suggestions on how to make that kinda a money quick let me know.
This week i also think im getting a haircut. its long over do. my friend fatima said she would cut it so im going to try and get her to do it this week. its better is she does it then i wont have to pay to get it done. and if it doesnt look good it will grow back. it would only be a couple of months of embarrasment.
the other thing i need to do this week is get to the fucking dmv. i need my fucking permit not having it is driving me fucking insane. and then i will need to get a car. this whole money thing fucking sucks.

[19 Aug 2006|08:44am]
check it out one and all:  http://www.myspace.com/replaceitwithblue

[18 Aug 2006|11:37am]
okay so I know Im not a very good updater the past about how long has it been a year? and for that I apologize. I do not always have access to a computer. Now I have the time, well for a couple of weeks. I'm house sitting for a family that attends my church. so im staying here and they gave me full use of everything. They are very kind. Being here is sort of like my summer vacation  1. because I did not go on vacation this summer at all and 2. because it gives me a whole house to myself and time to myself. Time to relax. I am enjoying  it. 
Last night is when I started and I am here until the 28th. 

I have been alot better with my bible studies and I hope to use most of the time continueing. 

Meh when I first came to update I thought I had alot to say, but I am finding out that I dont at the moment.

[26 Jul 2006|06:10pm]

i need to move. maybe my next big move will be to new york.

not that my house isnt fine now i just need a change. im starting college in september. that should be interesting. and looking for a new job. i left my old one 3 weeks ago. cadi also starts work soon. woot-woot. bringing in the cash. lol.




[19 May 2006|08:05pm]

Let's talk and we'll fill the air with imagery that lasts forever
So this is love,
that's a lovely thought
You have to care for it, to keep it together


[13 May 2006|10:00am]
yesterday ended up being an amazing day. first i went to school we are watching shinlers list and reading night, then i got major project and report in health. and in spanish. meh.

but i got out went to work. they had me stay later up front. i better get paid for it this time to. then mysar called and talked about sam. what a silly man to get hiself caught the way he did. i thought he was indian but apparently he is arab. o well. and then jesse called and asked me to dinner. so we went to manetas. had a blast i miss talking to him. we dont see eachother often but when we do i love it. i told him about my date with death this weekend. i might have to help clean out a dead mans house. meh. but i had great time! then i went home and got to talk to tim on the telle, then my sister told me we should have and old fashioned relationship and just send letters. she thinks we talk to much on the phone. but the only problem with letters is that i dont get to hear his reasuring voice. and i like that because it calms me down. but thats what i was told. today i go and talk to ben who is planning a cleanse think for me to help my skin and such then its off to work. im working to much!!!!

<3 love:.

[08 May 2006|09:38pm]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

prom was AMAZING
7 &CMNT!

[04 May 2006|09:17am]
yesterday was not a good day by far.i dont have enough energy to talk about the bad so lets dwell on the good of yesterday. after work i went to k-mart. cadi insisted we buy chocolate. so i did. and i saw my old boss who said he wishes i came back because i was one of the good kids. he said that even though me jesse and fatima keith and marcos were always talking and fooling around we always got are work done and he wishes we would all go back. then he told me he was retiring in 2 months. happy retirement rich!
then what? then i went home. i got to talk to tim but the the phones connection kept getting lost or it was a bad connection so that was the end of that.

today i work. alone. then tim will get here :D and i will have to do a major project.

im getting my check cashed at work today so i can buy food for the weekend. to help out. that is it.

im bleeding from the vg and have cramps. cramps are icky.

[03 May 2006|08:38am]
i know him better than anyone in that classroom. as soon as i walked in i wished i hadnt. it was a little akward. not because of him but because of the story he told. how can you tell a story like that and do what you did. and still wake up everyday not changing.

im terrified
3 &CMNT!

[02 May 2006|10:11am]
future. what a word aye? well lets see my last night was interesting:

-whent to work and found out that i didnt work
-worked on refinishing a bookcase for my room
-talked to my dad
-talked to tim :D
-fatima picked me up
-we went fishing
-we went to newhope
-they were closed:the whole villiage was closed
-we went to the park
-we went to k-mart
-the car died facing k-mart
-bad karma that what happens when we talk bad about it
-bens dad came to fix the car and such
-told fatima the battery was corroded
-he followed her home
-took me home
-stayed for like an hour
-cadi and ben went to bed
-i folded laundry
-i fell asleep on couch
-wake up at 3:30
-realize where i am
-go to bed
-pass out
-cadi woke me uo in the morning
-went to school
-fell asleep as soon as i got there
-teacher woke me up
-second period my teacher was a no show
-so i slept
-third period came and went (study hall) so i slept
-fourth period is now and i need to go back to sleep.
-i need to write my report for tommorrow its on "sex and relationship, how improtant is sex to you in a relationship and what kind of commitment do you need from your partner to start talking about sex."
-because we know this is my favorite topic meh. i dont much talk about this sorta stuff
-but it should be easy
-then i must go home
-go to work
-clean room.
-its sooooo messy!!! arg!

[01 May 2006|08:44am]
[ mood | anxious ]

this weekend was really fun i had an amazing time minus the whole sprained ankle thing- i was square dancing. :D and i actaully had alot of fun. who knew bens sister wsa so much fun to hang out with? well it was great. this weekend tim is coming with his dad. im sorta excited but nervous at the same time ya know? meh. this week i need to :

-call jesse.
-clean my room
-make appointments
-magically fix my ankle
-most likey work
-got to prom
-and fucking love everything while i do it.

meh im in school. not supposed to be on the computer. but i thought it to be neccesary. cant wait to graduate. im already planning my party! i need to send invitations out. i need to make them soon.

today i got my paper back in health. the teacher (ms.cancio)told me she would pray for me. sometimes i just need a knew life. a few more years i will be ready to change again.

2 &CMNT!

[29 Apr 2006|06:54pm]
this school needs to kiss my ass. i waste my time here way to much.

other than that? nothing is happening. last night i worked and i stay working till friday. i was supposed to pick up applications on my break but making a orange lemon juice took to long. meh
i have to go. bye.

[24 Apr 2006|12:19pm]
this week was insane! i loved it. meh i wish it didnt have to end. short and sweet i geuss can be good but not when you dont want it to end. im already back to school. this weeks plan:
-picking up aplication for a night job to work about 11pm-5am
-so i can hold 2 full time jobs in the summer and save up the money for my school next year. its not to expensive so i think i can manage it. i just need to work my heart out.

so to cut this short <3 to all!
1 &CMNT!

[13 Apr 2006|09:51am]
spring brake starts today. woot-woot. im going to ri to visit my parents and such. its funny how much i wanted to get out of there and now im going back for vqacation. what a vacation spot aye? ha-ha. i just got out of group therapy with ms yamada and a bunch of girls and unloaded all my drama so not much else is happening. i want to quit my job. im sick of doing the same thing every day and i certainly do not need my boss yelling at me for someone elses signature. learn how to read people.

last night was amazing. i got to hang out with my friend fatima and keith who i used to work with at kmart. hes pretty kickass . good to see him.so we had a good time. and now its back to the old ruitinge. leaving for vaca tomorrow night and i have work tonight. meh.

[12 Apr 2006|10:47am]
i just dusted the library. woot woot. i feel like im in a cloud of dust.

besides that:

the weekend was amazing. me and tim are going out. i had alot of fun. met more people. all is well. ima little sleepy. i bought some meds at the health food store for anxiety and stress. i think they may help. i hope they help. im full of stress.

and i have to go. <3
2 &CMNT!

[12 Apr 2006|09:35am]
okay every one i have a few options open to me for prom dresses. i picked one up yesterday its pretty on me but im not sure its "the one" yet.
other than that i had to have a meeting with mr. mcwilliam because i cant take it anymore something has to be done about my class because im at the end of my rope i almost hit her. and i know i could be imprisoned for that so i need to chill out. she makes me want to get drugged just so i can stand being there for 45 minutes a day.

[11 Apr 2006|08:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]

okay so this week has been insane due to the fact i cant stop bleeding and getting annoying cramps. but

-ive been working and loving it.
-been making money and actually saving.
-i know a friend who will GIVE me a prom dress if it fits.
-it sorta makes me feel like im a charity case, which i kinda am.
-or i know where i can buy one for a $1.00, yes one dollar.
-im going to m.a. for a bible study weekens on the 7th-the 9th.
-still havent figured out how im getting there.
-and that will force me to spend all the money i tried so hard to save.
-im going to AC MOORE to buy card supplies.
-i recently sent a letter to my grandmother (in florida) still no response.
-also sent a letter to anabella (i miss her more than i can speak about).
-tim is asking me too maney Q's that i have been avoiding (till i see him).
-me and my dad fought over addictions over the phone.
-ive been craving drugs or beer but have been surpressing it.
-i gained all my weight back after loosing it.
-i finally cleaned my room and did laundry.
-i may not graduate due to attendance.
-i feel like puking.
-i want to make things but im not artistic.
-i miss my mom and grandomother.
-i wish i was a better sister, daughter, grandaughter, aunt, and friend.
-i need to shower but im at school.
-i need a car.
-need to learn how to drive.
-i want to take pottery classes.
-but i cant get there.
-someone pulled the fire alram 3 time yetserday. i was only there for one.
-i want to take a 7th month course at a tec school to be able to build and fix engines to big rigs.
-i need to buy a new bra.
-i need a hair cut.
-and new sneakers.
-but i am not spending the money.
-someone just called me oprah. (for no reason.)
-i donated blood last week, a whole pint. (still have a bruise)
-i want to go to six flags.
-i wish i had the money to pay bills off for three months in advance.
-i want to fix the backyard for cadi and ben but i know i cant do it on my own.
-i want to get a pet.
-i want to drop out of school.
-how does it feel to want? (amazing.)
-my throat hurts from ginger ale(real ginger makes you feel like your swallowing razorblades.)
-i wish i could swallow razorblades.
-my teacher is trying to kill me.
-i miss being 4 years old.
-will i ever change the way i think?
-i hope so.

have a good day everyone.! i know mine has already kicked off to a fantastic start.(nope i lied)

1 &CMNT!

[11 Apr 2006|10:03am]
ahh i feel better, i feel relieved. calm.

[10 Apr 2006|10:01am]
i do not i repeat I DO NOT want to have to show up at work. im pissed about the whole situation really. hopefully its not going to be as bad as i am imagining and the keep me. we shall see. i know it was a mistake they could look past if they want to but at the same time im not so sure they will keep me if they know i cost them over 50 dollars in a day. lets just say yesterday was a bad day and hopefully i dont get what i truley deserve. hopefully this once i shall be saved of my insane ness.

side note. im tired i was up all night worrying. and i want to start my own business something i can do. nothing with art because lets face it im not artist and nothing with food because my sister already has that handled so what shall i do?

i have the most hated class next period and there is the damm bell.

2 &CMNT!

[31 Mar 2006|09:34am]

ahh yet another day closer to school vacation. i just need all of this to be over. yesterday i decided i need to go out and find an extra job for the summer because im not making enough money right now for what i need. so we shall see what happens. yesterday i went to work. meh it went well. got off to a rough start and fucked up on the cash register but in the end it worked out. then ben and adam came to pick me up to take me to robins house.first of course stopping for liquer. everyone was there. we had a birthday celebration for adam. adam may or may not drive me to mass. we shall see. 

on other words not much else is up i work today tommorrow AND the next day 1-7 that should say it all.

1 &CMNT!

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